Journey to the skinny me

Wow it has been awhile .......
Sue and I have started a journey to a healthier us. We started working out in November and still are learning to eat healthier We fall and get back up and try not to beat ourselves up about it. So far I have lost fifty pounds and physically that is a big change. But menatlly I don't give myself permission to be thin.I have never been thin, I have always been the fat friend and in some ways I am havung a hard time becoming the skinny one. I appriciate the compliments I get, I really do. But even though I know physically I have changed mentally I just think I have hundred to go still.

Wow

Wow the time has flown by.... My son is now three and America just keeps growing into her tall beautiful self. I know this is short . But I haven't forgotten my poor neglected blog.

Loneliness

Lately it seems I'm getting lonely. It gets worse as the days goes by. So I was searching on line for what God says in the Bible about loneliness and came across this.....

My Child You're Not Alone

At times like these it's hard to find the right words to say,
And I know that words alone won't take the pain away.
But, I know a man who sits high, and looks low,
And He is saying, "My child, you're not alone."

He is saying, "I love you and I am concerned about you,
And all the pain and hurt that you are going through."
He is saying, "Lean on me, I will be your comfort through this time.
And although it’s dark now, the sun again will shine."

Even though it’s hard to see through tears that you now cry,
Just know that there will come a day when your tears, He will dry.
And though words alone won’t ease the pain that you now feel,
Just know that in time, your heart, He will heal.

I pray that God will give you peace, and strength in your heart
As He holds you in His arms, and from you, He won’t depart.
May you always be encouraged, may you ever hold on.
And remember, "My child, you're not alone."

I understand this poem and believe it is true......But now my loneliness has sadness because I don't know why. I know it's probably temporary that God is trying to teach me something.

I hope I figure it out soon.....

Knowing Myself

Finding Myself
Current mood:Somber

I have another friend who just lost a baby girl at six months. She delivered her yesterday. Teeny, under a pound. Apparently she had liver failure. I could never imagine how it feels. There was of course Isaac who I blog about before.

I also lost a friend not to long ago.He was battling cancer for the second time and lost. Or maybe he won because he's finally made it home safe in the arms of God...

These past losses in my life have brought me to realize some things about myself. Before this wouldn't have necessarily have had any effect on me. Since I have found my way back to God I have been humbled. My emotions and expectations in my life have changed for the better. But in some ways its lonelier. Which is hard but I am also learning to live with that too because I'm tired of people wanting to be with me for the wrong reasons.

I also have realized that it also has made me a better parent. My heart has changed a great deal when it comes to my kids. They are my gift from God and as I watch them grow it makes my heart SOAR. I'm thankful they are in my life everyday. I am so proud of my children and the people they are growing up to be.

My soul is more at peace. As a result my relationship with God is growing. But not only do I know God more, I know myself.

The White Ghost

I just thought I would catch a few of you up with us.
Josiah has been sick, stomach flu. It has been interesting to say the least. I decided to take advantage of the urgent need to go. I put him on the potty and told him to fart well with the flu he naturally went. So I rewarded him with candy. To get him to go pee is more complicated. I used the warm water trick and if he didn't go I told him to fart one more time and most of the time he pees. See how long that last.
On a different note.......

I clean my dad's apartment every two weeks and do his laundry. While America and I were hanging and folding clothes I happen to look at Josiah who was hanging up my dad's underwear. I decided to encourage him and hung them up in closet. ( I did call my dad and tell him why) When my dad returned home I got a text" Wow I have white ghosts in my closet LMAO"

Christmas Part 4

Who said I was done.......... Lots more photos. Enjoy a peek into us celebrating the birth of Christ.





Sue opening Ella's blanket that Ella's new Shoes and Sue new I made Slippers(Thanks Annette)
Tomorrow is the 30th. So I took down my now sad Christmas Tree.
Ode to the Christmas Tree
Ode to the Christmas Tree who's beauty was overwhelming.
The lights sparkling thru the night
Serving as a reminder of a once bright star
That brought wise men to bring gifts to a chosen child
Even thou this child lives within many today,
The Christmas tree has seen better days.
Until next year beautiful ornament
Ode to the Christmas Tree

Christmas Part 3

Would you believe I am now on Christmas......... I spent Christmas at my cousin's in-laws house. Yes the same from Thanksgiving. We also welcomed Annette back this year from Oregon. We have a slow schedule for Christmas. America was trying to hurry every one along. She wanted to open the presents. We all wake up and opened stockings, ate breakfast , showered , then one by one opened hte gifts. Ella slept thru most of it but was awake for the last few.